Brooker – sardonically down as “Blocker” in the “book” (two scraps of paper from a notebook) – came out with a bat rescued from his attic, and, despite scratching around with a couple of boundaries flicks and nudges on the deck, hit a few on the full. At twenty overs the score was 181, and Power still a run short of his 50. But lo! By the Duckworth-Lewis system for stretching a game out due to sun, the match became Twenty-Two22, and Power glided another single to make his 50 and long-awaited retirement. Enter Eastwood, wearing a cap to protect his scalp from the beating sun. By knocking a single, he managed to get the score to 209 for two at the end, since Brooker despatched the rest of the bowling without troubling to run.

    The Bar had all turned out in its gilt-edged strip, with Prior even wearing the club kit rather than some curious clothing from a spurious club. Harthan chose to wear a non-conforming sun hat, which made him look like Bez, and made him keep wicket like Bez [Charles, I’m astonished that you know who Bez is - Ed]. Gosling stormed down the hillock to take three wickets, although due to an overly-attacking field and overly-generous, rank half-volleys he and Eastwood, the opening bowlers, put Bibby Distribution ahead of the run-rate (35). Chester had to tolerate fielding on the boundary next to the camp squeals of Crosby’s drunken youth [I thought they were remarkably well behaved, if they sue for libel you’re on your own - Ed].  Eastwood heroically bowled up the hill, sometimes overtaking his own deliveries on his follow-through. Gosling trapped Bibby Distribution’s keeper-batsman LBW with a high one, but the umpire clearly thought that the ball was “on its way down” and gave the lone appellant his appeal, amidst much embarrassment and soul-searching. He movingly dedicated the wicket to his new-born son, oblivious to the life of a parent ahead, as by this time Crosby’s youths came close to breaching their ASBOs [I do hope you’ve properly investigated this and sought their views before publishing so as to satisfy the Reynolds Defence - Ed].     At times the Bar’s fielding owed a lot to spot-betting arrangements, with boundaries conceded regularly through the legs. Prior huffed and puffed for four overs, the high point of which was Eastwood’s confident clutch at deep mid-off to take Bibby Distribution’s best (only?) batsman. Armstrong dangled some leg-spinners in front of the batsmen. His subtle signals to Harthan behind the stumps, such as scratching his Lego head, were lost on the batsmen, and the ‘keeper too. Yet “two-steps” Harthan took a sharp stumping, as the batsman failed to put his bat over the crease within the allocated minute, and the crowd could hold its breath no longer.     Rishton turned his arm to spin, and had both Gorton and Chester flailing athletically at balls looping over their heads, so decided to bowl the batsman instead. This led to the first missed bowled opportunity in cricketing history, because Harthan yelped and threw off his glove when the ball passed or hit it, and the batsman denied that the ball had bowled him. Rishton had to appeal in a novel way for a “bowled”. Another cricketing first was made when the first-ever appeal for “bowled” was given Not Out, the umpire clearly inclining to disbelieve the Bar’s skipper on oath. It took a resurgent Sinker – down in the book as “Stinker” – and a re-called Eastwood to bowl out the overs, to give victory to the Bar, with Bibby Distribution making 117 for seven.     Man of the Match: Power the Power Catch of the Match: Eastwood Moment of the Match: Cricket’s three firsts – the missed bowl-out, the first appeal for bowled, the first not out for an appeal of bowled.